DNA Kits – Should They Come With a Warning?

~ Chiddicks Family Tree

Originally published April 2023 — updated for 2026

Note: This article has been updated to reflect new insights, personal experience, and the evolving landscape of DNA testing. A revised version of this post is also available on Substack.

In recent years, DNA testing for family history has grown at an incredible rate. If you’re researching your family tree, chances are you’ve either already taken a test or seriously thought about it. But before you do, it’s worth asking yourself one simple question:

Are you truly prepared for what you might find?

Because once that information is revealed, there’s no undoing it.

The Growing Popularity of DNA Testing

DNA kits are now more affordable and accessible than ever. Tens of millions of people worldwide have taken a test, with companies such as Ancestry leading the way. They’ve become common gifts, particularly around Christmas, an easy purchase with the promise of unlocking your past.

But that convenience brings with it a deeper question: What might it cost you emotionally?

I can speak from experience. I’ve taken an autosomal DNA test with AncestryDNA, as well as a Y-DNA test through Family Tree DNA. Like many family historians, I’ve seen the benefits, breaking through a long-standing brick wall that traditional research simply couldn’t solve. But I’ve also experienced the other side, uncovering a discovery within my own family that had a profound and lasting impact.

At the time, I believed those kinds of revelations only ever happened to other people.

They don’t.

What We See… and What We Don’t

The popularity of DNA testing has been fuelled in part by television programmes such as DNA Journey and DNA Family Secrets. These shows highlight emotional journeys, reunions, and remarkable discoveries. They are uplifting and, at times, incredibly moving.

But they only tell one side of the story.

What we rarely see are the more difficult outcomes:

  • Families divided by unexpected truths
  • Identities suddenly questioned
  • Long-held secrets brought into the open

These stories are just as real, but far less visible.

Family Secrets and Unexpected Discoveries

Every family has its secrets. Traditional genealogy can uncover some of them, but DNA testing has accelerated that process in ways we are still coming to terms with.

Discoveries can include:

  • Unexpected parentage
  • Previously unknown siblings
  • Hidden adoptions or donor conception
  • Entire branches of family that were never known

These findings can be fascinating, but they can also be deeply unsettling.

Once uncovered, they cannot be undone.

The Burden of Knowing

Perhaps the most overlooked aspect of DNA testing is what happens after the discovery. The responsibility often falls on one person, the individual who now holds information that could affect others in profound ways.

So what do you do?

  • Do you share the truth and risk causing pain or division?
  • Or do you stay silent and carry that knowledge yourself?

There is no easy answer. And with that responsibility often comes guilt.

The secret-keeper may feel caught in an impossible position, wanting to protect loved ones while also wrestling with the truth. Over time, that burden can become heavy: emotionally draining, isolating, and difficult to manage. It’s not something people often consider when they order a DNA test, but perhaps they should.

Privacy, Ethics, and Responsibility

Much of the public discussion around DNA testing has focused on privacy, understandably so. Questions around data storage, third-party access, and even law enforcement use of DNA databases have become increasingly relevant. But while these concerns are important, they are only part of the picture.

Companies like AncestryDNA do include warnings, but typically at the point of activation. By then, you’ve already made the purchase and committed to the process.

Is that enough?

Given the scale of the industry, it’s fair to ask whether more should be done to prepare people, not just for how their data is used, but for what they might discover.

Before You Take a DNA Test

If you’re considering testing, it’s worth taking a step back and thinking it through.

Ask yourself:

  • Am I prepared for unexpected or life-changing discoveries?
  • Have I considered how this might affect other members of my family?
  • Am I comfortable with how my genetic data may be stored or used?
  • Do I have someone I can talk to if something unexpected arises?

This isn’t about discouraging people, it’s about making sure you go into it with your eyes open.

The Benefits — and They Are Real

Despite everything I’ve said, DNA testing can be incredibly valuable.

It can:

  • Solve genealogical mysteries
  • Connect families separated by time or circumstance
  • Provide a deeper understanding of heritage
  • Offer insights that traditional research cannot

Used responsibly, it is a powerful tool, one that has transformed family history research. But like any powerful tool, it comes with consequences.

Final Thoughts

DNA testing doesn’t just tell you where you come from.

It can change how you see yourself, your family, and your past.

So take the test if you choose to, but do so with care, awareness, and a clear understanding of what might lie ahead.

Because sometimes, the answers we’re searching for come with questions we were never expecting to ask……….

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Copyright © 2026 Paul Chiddicks | All rights reserved

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Published by Chiddicks Family Tree

I began researching my family tree around 15 years ago to initially find out more about my Father who died when I was three years old and I haven’t stopped searching yet. I also have a keen interest in Military History in particular WW1.

20 thoughts on “DNA Kits – Should They Come With a Warning?”

  1. What an excellent post! I have been researching my family tree for 20 years and have heard so many success stories about DNA testing and how they help knock down those brick walls. But I have always been hesitant about taking this step due to concerns about privacy, data ownership and controversial discoveries. Thank you so much for writing about this. More should be discussed about the downside of DNA testing.

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    1. Thank you Moira! Because the companies involves are making such huge profits from this, why would they publicise the negative side of testing! I just think that morally they have a duty of care to make people realise that there is the chance of making a life changing discovery. It’s a discussion that needs to take place

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  2. Thanks for this post. I agree completely! I’m not sure test-takers today are adequately prepared for what they might learn or what they might be giving up. I wrote about DNA tests some years ago. I called it “dynamite.” https://past-presence.com/2018/02/10/should-you-get-a-dna-test/. Today, I see Ancestry’s new mandate to be fully global. While I have reservations about DNA, still I hold out hope that one day there might be genetic help for the rest of us.

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    1. Thanks Linda and thank you for sharing your link as well. Your blog clearly highlights that there are so many benefits to taking a test, for all of us, but it’s clear that we both also highlight the potential consequences of not thinking fully about the consequences of what your results can reveal. We can all be a little bit guilty of thinking these things always happen to the other person, but as well know only too well, sometimes that other person is you!

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  3. I agree with the first comments. I had several family members do tests to help me with my research, but before they said yes, I had frank discussions to make sure they were aware of and accepted all possibilities for the outcome. We have had no surprises…yet! Another part of this is even more controversial…whose rights outweigh whose? Example, a woman in the 1970/80s gave up several children at birth (she did raise her last few children). Today, two of the adopted children used DNA. A daughter used it solely for identifying her biological parents, not genealogy. She located her biological mother through a DNA match to her half brother. The half brother found his match to their maternal Aunt who convinced the mother to accept the match, against her wishes. The daughter is now trying to force the mother into acknowledging her and any other children she gave up. Ironically the daughter self-admits she was adopted and raised in a loving family and has no health concerns. Her desire is (in my opinion) selfish entitlement. But I recognize the conundrum of whose rights trumps whose; The children’s right to be acknowledged by their biological parents or the rights of the woman whose story is unknown and may be facing her own demons? As much as I dislike government micro-management, the DNA question is a case of justifiable mandates to testing companies to present warnings before accepting payment. It won’t stop the scenario I described, but it would give fair warning to the unwitting finder of secrets, specifically those new to genealogy who are taken in by the commercials.

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    1. There are so many different scenarios and depending on where you sit in a particular family secret or reveal will certainly shape your opinion. No two cases are the same. Another area that I never touched on in my blog is the area surrounding sperm donors. How are there rights protected, I’m not sure. There are so many good things that can come out of DNA testing and I’m sure that medical advances in this area in the future might make testing even more critical. But as a general person taking a test because they are curious about their ethnicity, are they making an informed choice? Are the potential issues explained fully? I’m not so sure they are. It’s a very interesting discussion which I’m sure will continue over the next few years. Thanks for highlighting your example which is certainly something that I have no come across myself before

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  5. I completely agree that testing companies, and Ancestry in particular, should warn people of the negative potentials of testing. I wrote about this years ago.

    Unintended Consequences

    I’ve gotten over it now, but I had many a sleepless night agonizing over whether to tell the individuals most impacted. I decided against. They had only tested at my behest and cared only for the ethnicity results. Given their health concerns, it really could have taken a terrible toll. I was not willing to risk it and don’t regret my decision. When they’re gone, I will be more open about it. I think Ancestry has a moral obligation, given the potential for shock having a very adverse affect on vulnerable people.

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    1. Thanks Eilene for sharing with me your experiences and it’s reassuring to know that I’m not the only voice raising these questions. These are life changing events that I don’t think people are prepared for. The burden of responsibility that you mention can also be so overpowering for people as well.

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  6. I could tell you stories. I got a friend into doing a tree online. I told her it should be private. She later saw why. She has a famous person in her tree. Not her direct line but a great aunt I believe. She started seeing people create trees online that she thought were relatives and they were not. People not related creating her family tree. I had someone who was a genealogist get mad when I would not show her my private tree. She acted like she was related at first then later admitted she wasn’t. She started bullying me and name calling on ancestry. I reported her to the site. I have found some pro genealogists to be lazy and expect people to do the work for them. I’m sure someone was paying her to research – a distant relative of mine I’m sure. I could go on. Moral : keep your trees private and don’t trust anyone saying they are related unless dna tests prove it.

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  7. Really important issue. DNA is such an exciting genealogical chapter, but so far we are going in with our ethical eyes closed – feels like there needs to be a lot more discussion and engagement, especially since the genie is out of the bottle.

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  8. Funnily enough, I’ve seen quite a few posts on Twitter lately, asking what the genealogy community could do better. My answer has always been that I wish someone had told me at the beginning that genealogy can be a fascinating field, but not all discoveries are pleasant ones. And I wish there was some kind of guide as to how to handle such things.

    While this also applies to traditional (paper) genealogy, I think the passage of time makes a difference. Just speaking for myself…if I, for example, find records of children dying in the 1800s, it’s sad – but not unusual for that time, as infant mortality and life expectancy were horrendous back then. However, it would be another matter if child bereavement happened to a close relative who is still alive today.

    That’s why I agree that DNA tests should come with a warning – because unexpected discoveries usually concern living people. And in fact, with regard to your last point, they are not uncommon at all. I once had an online conversation with CeCe Moore (who is probably the most famous genetic genealogist out there) and I asked her how she managed to crack the Lloyd Ailes case, when it turned out that perpetrator’s own mother didn’t know that her husband wasn’t her son’s father. CeCe told me that misattributed parentage is actually so common that she always watches out for it.

    Indeed, a quick Google check will bring up dozens of stories of people who innocently took DNA tests and got unexpected results. Occasionally, it has even led to lawsuits – such as those involving fertility doctors who secretly impregnated women using their own sperm.

    That said, I wouldn’t necessarily discourage someone from taking a DNA test. I know of cases where these tests have been extremely useful. One genealogist in Ireland was finally – after over 30 years – able to break down a brick wall and prove his descent from an aristocratic Irish family with the aid of them. I am also aware that they have been a godsend for some adoptees and foundlings, who have had happy reunions with their biological families. Although equally, it must be said things can easily go the other way there. There’s one horrible case on YouTube involving a foundling who tried to find his biological parents via DNA. His father warmly welcomed him, but his mother not only angrily rejected him, but threatened to call the police if he ever contacted her again.

    I used to recommend DNA tests to everyone, but with wisdom and hindsight, I now say – please think through every eventuality and whether you can deal with any potentially negative consequences before taking one.

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    1. Thank you Elizabeth for sharing such thoughtful and relevant comments. So much of what you say I have tried to capture in my blog but you have captured the real emotions at the heart of DNA testing. Of course there are wonderful stories of reuniting families and we are fed a diet of wonderful DNS based TV again all with heart warming outcomes. But like you say, not all outcomes are like this and not all family history stories are happy ones. I think people just need to take a step back before letting the genie out of the bottle. We should expect the unexpected and be prepared but I really don’t think everyone is fully prepared for these potential life changing discoveries

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      1. Thank you, Paul. Over the years, I have read various articles about whether people should take DNA tests, but a lot of the time, all they come up with is irrelevant nonsense – bordering on conspiracy theories.

        Among other things, they claim that your DNA will be sold to health insurance companies without your consent who will then deny you coverage. Apart from the fact you can’t be denied health care in the UK, I don’t know of a single person whom this has happened to. It would be completely illegal, in any event, for companies to sell your DNA without consent – and most DNA companies don’t offer genetic health testing, anyway.

        It’s also worth pointing out here that consumer DNA tests don’t actually analyse your full genome. Ancestry, for example, just looks at certain unique parts of it – known as SNPs – which wouldn’t provide a complete overview of any genetic health abnormalities. I have a special interest here as I have a niece who was sadly born with multiple health problems. It took almost two years of no answers before David Cameron’s 100,000 Genomes project (which looks at the whole micro array) identified what was wrong. Debbie Kennett (who is a far better expert on DNA than I am) told me that we’d never have found the answer from a consumer DNA test – even one that offers genetic health testing.

        For a similar reason, there’s no chance (at least in the UK) of the police getting hold of your DNA to solve cold cases. Opponents of DNA testing have a great distrust of law enforcement and often state that they do not want their DNA used to solve cases, resulting in relatives being locked up. However, the UK police use STR DNA testing which isn’t compatible with SNP DNA testing. And that’s before we get onto the fact that there strict laws in the UK about how DNA can be used.

        Nobody seems to address the major problem – as to how to deal with potentially distressing life-changing personal discoveries that can result from taking consumer DNA tests. So, I’m very glad to see that you’ve written an article about this.

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      2. There are so many different facets to DNA testing and a lot of the things that you mention do come up in regular DNA discussion groups. However, avoiding the difficult topics that surround DNA testing is for me ducking the real issue, which is why I wanted to bring this subject out in the open to at least get the topic on the table. One of the biggest things for me, which is rarely mentioned, is the burden of guilt that a secret keeper feels once they have made a discovery.
        This for me is a real dilemma. Tell the secret and potentially destroy the family, keep it a secret and the story is eventually told and people find out you knew all along, relationships are torn apart forever. People really do need to think long and hard about what they hope to gain from taking a test against what life changing potentials they might create

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  9. When people ask me if they should take a DNA test, I first always suggest to them that they have a reason to take one. Do they want to do family research? Are they looking for find missing parents of a close ancestor? Are they trying to prove that someone is actually a relative from a hidden family secret? Even with cautions that there is the potential for an unwanted surprise, the vast majority still want to take one. I’ve only had one person who decided against testing after a long conversation.

    What I found hit home the most in your article is not the unpleasant surprises that could arise for the test taker, but the effect that knowledge on a family researcher can have. Knowing a bombshell secret, having to decide whether to share it, or not, does carry a heavy weight with potential consequences of its own. Even when it doesn’t necessarily apply to you personally it can create rifts for you also.

    Do I think that the DNA testing companies should a provide a warning? I don’t think it would be a bad idea, but I do question how effective it would be in its overall effect.

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    1. Thanks, Karla, I agree with you that many people would still ignore a warning, because “these things only happen to someone else”, whereas, in reality, they can and do happen to all of us. I had a complete surprise with my own results and one that I was completely unprepared for. The biggest part for me is the burden of responsibility for the secret keeper many families have been divided forever not because of the secret, but because the secret itself was kept. I don’t have the answer to this, but I just think people need to be better informed to make their own reasoned judgments.

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